Shooting your shot is scary. But also so worth it.

I did it.

I went for it.

And it failed.

But I have never been more proud of myself.

At the beginning of the year I got involved with a Diversity and Inclusion work group as a part of my division at work. I love this group. They are all open and authentic people and they are so genuine in everything that they do. With the recents deaths of black men and women in the United States we worked quickly to bring on more people to make sure that we are putting all of our efforts into this area correctly and effectively. With that being said - the more work - the more things that need to be done.

We quickly banded together to work on a site for Diversity and Inclusion resources, we have different activities that people can use to start conversations about D&I, and then also we have different people in the group giving presentations across various teams to help educate people about biases, microagressions, etc.

Now being the Type A person that I am - all I personally saw was a To Do list that needed to be tackled, and who better to help make sure that it call gets done than me. I am organized, efficient, and succinct. If you want something done or you want it to be kept up with then I am the person that you want doing it. A bit of a brag - but really - I like this stuff.

So as I was talking to a fellow member of this we talked about how it might be nice to have like a team secretary almost - like a position that was dedicated to the team and its efforts and projects. I immediately loved the idea and she told me I would be a good fit for something like that and that if I wanted to I should reach out. So I did.

It was nerve wracking. I sent it on a Friday afternoon knowing that they wouldn't get to it until Monday or Tuesday, and then send a follow up on Wednesday.

And on Wednesday I got shut down completely.

I was crushed. Hurt. Heartbroken. I had really started to see myself on one of the execs teams working with them and helping this work group be the best that it could be. I mean that is what anyone really wants for the role they're in right? And now - I didn't get to be that for them - at least not officially.

And I tried to play it off but I was hurt. Everyone of my friends could tell - but then the same person who told me to reach out gave me some good advice.

If a mediocre white man would go for it - then go for it. If you get denied, then thats okay - if they decide that this is a role that they need I can guarantee you are going to be one of the first people that they think about. You know what - and maybe you wont be. But reaching out, asking for feedback, and putting yourself out there only prepares you for the next time you do it, and the time after that, and after that and after that.

It sucks being told no. It hurts especially when you really want that position or title or whatever it is you are going for. But at the end of the day it also matters how you got there. It matters that you reached out and advocated for yourself in the first place. Because each time you do you slowly become a force to reckon with. You become that much more sure of your self and your abilities because eventually those no's turn in to yes' and we show the no's what they missed out on.

So this is for my person out there reading this that got told no. It's going to be okay. Keep trying. Keep reaching for your goals and I promise you one day they will be asking for you instead of you reaching out to them.

This is also for my person who just got their yes. Congrats. I am so happy for you. Be as amazing as we all know that you can be. I can't wait for the first time you get an email asking for you and your amazing talent and intellect.

Keep reaching. Keep trying. Be forces to be reckoned with. One day they are going to be sorry they ever said no.